Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize