It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The air taste purple.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
