Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
