But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
