you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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