i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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