He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
