He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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