I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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