My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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