There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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