i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
