How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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