its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize