Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wear drunk well.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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