We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
