So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
