drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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