There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
