We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
