He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize