I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
