Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
