found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
jump out the window naked night went bad
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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