im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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