I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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