where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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