Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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