it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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