I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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