Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
