I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
