it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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