There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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