i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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