literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize