I just made out with a guy for $7.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
