Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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