I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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