i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
