Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I don't think brook has ever known best
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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