Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
