Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
