we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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