eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
