I CAN MOONWALK!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
