So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
