I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize