He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
