did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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