We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
