well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize