You're so nebulous sometimes
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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