would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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