he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
we should paint friendship bongs
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize