i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
