i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
