I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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