You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
