i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
