that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My dick has a subreddit
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize