Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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