Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
