Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
