Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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