hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
