Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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