And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize