I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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