I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
