I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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