somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
