Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
