is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
