He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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