Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
