Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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