I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
